Casual Dating: Should I have and with who

Do I Need to Watch a Dating Show to Find Love?

Love, sex, happiness, and finding a partner—pretty much anything to do with the modern-day dating landscape revolves around TV and pop culture, whether we’re talking about television shows, books, movies, Twitter, Facebook, websites, YouTube, or apps (In case you’re wondering, I use all of these in my dating life.) That’s not to say that the things we’re talking about today aren’t important, but whether you’re looking for love or just a shag, we can’t separate it from pop culture.

You might be surprised by how much content on the topics we’re discussing today comes from the world of celebrities, tech, and TV, but if you want to find love, you’ll have to look at it. Here are all the options:

1. TV Shows (The Bachelor / Bachelorette)

Everyone assumes that the The Bachelor/Bachelorette is what will get you laid and have you swearing off television for the rest of your life. It’s true that these shows may get you romantic dates and may get you a certain amount of sex, but let’s be honest—the main reasons people watch them isn’t to find dates and to get laid. It’s about fantasy and voyeurism and memorizing lines that signify the contestants are willing to put their family and themselves aside to follow their hearts and try for love.

While it’s true that The Bachelor may not always work, getting out of the reality TV world and into a chat room or a dating app may be easier than you think. It’s the reality of reality TV: When we have our own TV show, we portray ourselves to the public as a certain way in the hope that we’ll be in a certain location. Instead of chatting with a person on a chat room, we’re talking to people who would be at the end of a microphone.

Check out this article for an in-depth analysis of what you should expect from The Bachelor, and this one for a deeper explanation of the psychology behind it.

The Bachelor or Bachelorette? In a book by Matthew Hussey, Bachelorette contestants claim the Bachelors or Bachelorettes should be “thought of as having clean, virginal bodies that women are lusting after. These men are not only emotionally mature but also completely unattached to the idea of settling down with one woman forever.” And it’s
Luckily, you’re about to learn all the tools you need to land a romantic hookup or get your heart and relationship goals hitched. From the best places to meet prospective dates to simple date etiquette, these 16 essential dating tips will give you a head start in the world of modern dating.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Be Assertive but Avoid Aggression

The fastest way to get a date off the ground is to be assertive. Tell the person what you like and don’t like, but don’t make it sound like you’re picking them over them—even if you are. If you want to have a good time, find out what they like, too, but don’t make it an all-or-nothing deal. They like to play guitar? Tell them you’ve played guitar and ask if they want to jam sometime. They don’t? Then you can figure out where you might have common ground.

Photo by Thomas MacDevitt on Unsplash

No Barf-Stuff Guarantee

It’s so tempting to pull out your phone the moment you’re in the presence of a cute, attractive person, but don’t do it. Eye contact says you respect their time and that you’re not checking your phone every five seconds. If you do make eye contact, be sure to smile or smile brightly, as well. You don’t have to be so rigidly polite—just be friendly, but don’t appear desperate. If they strike you as truly attractive, be ready to strike up a conversation—but remember that you’re taking a chance here.

Photo by Sirf Live on Unsplash

Don’t Ask for Stocks

The biggest mistake people make when asking for a date is trying to go for the “easiest” route. “I don’t want to run a bar or go out,” says Richard Rubio, a relationship coach and the author of Opening the Fields of Love. “These are the things that’re necessary. But in the modern age, don’t ask for a loan, or do you want to have dinner or a drink. You have to be creative in your request.”

Instead, ask for what you want, but don’t set expectations with a number of hours you’d be willing to put into your date. “If it’s a Friday and you’re saying it’ll be a day or two, don’t say the whole weekend,” says Rubio. “Say something like, ‘

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