Marriage Not Dating

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever know someone’s true personality unless I get to know them better. That’s why I always try to make someone laugh in conversation before diving in for the first kiss.

If you want to keep the conversation going, here are a few things you can ask:

What is your favorite book?

I’m much more likely to laugh in conversation if I’m getting to know you than if I’m just jumping into the first romantic conversation. If you’ve read the same five books and constantly rattle on about them, it’s easy to be bored by that person.

If you like the same books, that’s a start. If you want to share a joke and you’re considering just how to talk about it because you think the other person will judge you, you’re already farther along in the process.

What are you passionate about?

I think you should know a bit about me before we spend our first one-on-one time together. If you ask me a question like this, I’m much more likely to want to see if you’re a match. If you tell me you’re into animals, I’ll probably be fascinated by that. If you’re a foodie, I’ll be curious to see if you’ll share my love for Chicago’s Joe Beef.

The point isn’t to find out whether you’re alike; the point is to find out what you have in common.

Why is this person your best friend?

Although we’ve only been on one date, I feel like I’ve had a personal history with this person for the past few weeks. I could read a book by their name. If I was in a foreign country, I could ask directions and they’d know.

Having some history with each other means the two of you can throw a few bread crumbs at each other. If you’re talking to someone you’ve never met before, you may only have one question at a time, and by the time you get to the third date you’ll either know each other’s interests and interests aren’t a match, or you’ll be a compatible match. If you know someone as well as a long-time friend, it saves you the complication of who likes what.

What is the funniest thing you’ve ever done?

I had a co-worker who once laughed so hard at a joke that she got a nosebleed. I wanted
Your dates’ heads won’t explode (or smush into a writhing mass of goo) if you’re not perfect. If you think that by looking the part, you’ll be that much more attractive to the opposite sex, you’re wrong. In reality, being too well-groomed is more likely to make someone run away from you in disgust. It’s not cute, it’s just lazy.

And if you’re looking for a one-night stand? You’re going to need to be a little less perfect in your approach. Yowza.

The perfect guy/girl? Absolutlely not.

The perfect date? Definitely not.

Still want to commit, but are afraid you might be too picky? Think again.

When you date, there will be plenty of opportunities to make yourself look or act like your best self. There are occasions when you shouldn’t have a comb in your hair, and some situations are just not a good time to put on your two-hours-of-sweat makeup. In these and other situations, you should be able to relax and be yourself. That’s the end goal of the dating game.

And then there are other situations that are not so clear-cut. I’m talking about those epic nights where you just want to have a good time. You want to catch a few movies and play some pool, maybe go to a bar or go out for drinks, but then, the next thing you know, you’re sitting on a guy’s couch trying to conjure up a passable lie about how you’ve been drinking all day so you don’t seem like a lightweight to his parents. And you think, if you’re going to be known as a lightweight, you might as well be plastered to the point where you’re a gibbering idiot who can’t be trusted to drive.

But you don’t want to be a lightweight, and you don’t want to commit to someone the night of a drunken night out, so you go with the best idea you can come up with at the time: Tell them you’ve been drinking. Just be honest. And if it is a crappy situation or you don’t feel like being honest, you are going to have to go with your second-best idea: Chug a beer. Yep, you heard me.

The Real Reasons People Order Beer During First Dates

According to a survey by Camilleri Wine & Spirits

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