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Dating: The quick-n-dirty guide

There are actually quite a few “quick and dirty” guides for how to hit on someone and start a conversation, and I recommend using them every now and again. It’s not that you should completely set aside proper etiquette—I just think that when you’re looking for a new person to share your life with, the last thing you want is to overthink what you say and how you say it, which leads us to our next point.

1) Be friendly and approachable

The best way to introduce yourself? Don’t do it. It’s much easier to make a great first impression when you just walk up to the person you’re interested in and start chatting right away. Offer your name, show off a little about yourself in the form of a cheesy pick-up line, or say “hi.” Whatever you do, don’t just stand there on the sidewalk or at the bar and hope that the person you’re interested in notices you.

You can also make a great first impression by having a cocktail party for people you don’t know that well, introducing yourself as an admirer of a friend, and keeping the conversation light. If you’re worried about mingling, just ask a coworker or friend to host a gathering.

It’s even better if you can plan a coffee shop meeting with a stranger. Go for it.

2) Fake it til you make it

This one is kind of tricky. If you do decide to start a conversation with someone—or even worse, meet up with a group of people—you don’t want to overthink things. But you don’t want to come off as one of those girls who says too much. Your goal is to strike up a conversation, ask a few questions about your potential date, and move on. Don’t be afraid to say “hi,” but don’t say too much. It’s okay to be boring sometimes.

3) Have a killer opener

It’s a good idea to have a few go-to openings when you’re starting a conversation with people. You don’t want to sound like a robot. Use some of the ones below as a general template, but if you can’t think of anything else to say, come back here and we’ll give you some other opening lines.

4) Have fun

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We’re all busy, and making time to date takes a priority. You have your days and nights planned out and kept perfect, so what can you do to make sure you’re truly getting to know someone? These are the secrets to dating online today, whether you’re looking for love, are single and looking, or just need a few ideas for a good time with friends.

1) Date sites can be useful, but not the only place to start—and it’s not always a good idea.

You can start a web search for “online dating sites” and you’ll get a boatload of tips on how to do it right, from where to start, how much to spend, how to build up that persona, and other advice on how to “be yourself” on sites like Match.com and PlentyOfFish. Maybe these tips will work for you! On the other hand, maybe they won’t.

But for every dating site that has a “work your way up” scheme, there is one that encourages you to jump right in and start putting your best foot forward—as quickly as possible. Tame It takes the hard work out of dating online, and simplifies your search for the right person. It gives you the ability to see who’s already interested in you without having to work up the courage to ask for a date. Are you interested in someone? Let them know! Once you’ve been on the site for a while and have been answering questions from members, you might see when they’ve joined Tame. Once you do, you can send a direct message to them, by clicking the envelope icon, or by replying to one of their answers. The beauty of this is that you never have to worry about becoming a creepy stalker, harassing them, or asking them for a date—you can start right away. With sites like Plimus, Eros, and OkCupid—all three of which have a free plan—you don’t even have to say that you’re looking for a relationship to start. With Plimus, you can flirt and send and receive emails on your free plan. With Eros, you can send emails and share photos. OkCupid is an all-around dating site that lets you search for and message people that are in your age range, and who are in your area. You can send

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